Preparing for this event and now watching the battle back have sparked a whole other thought process in my head. About the current state of the battle scene, my role in it, and where I go from here. I wanted to write down these thoughts to collate them. Perhaps in a forum where I could garner some feedback, even. And then I remembered that I have a fucking blog!

First, an admission: I am by far my own harshest critic. No one else comes close. So I often feel sheepish and undeserving about the amount of praise that I get from fans. Especially when comparing myself to truly accomplished battlers like Solomon and TheSaurus, or the grittier rappers in leagues like URL, or the newer crop of KOTD talent like Pesci and Bender. I haven’t been fiercely competitive since the BOTB5/Globetrotters days, and that was honestly a different era of battling. The bar is astronomically higher now.

But I’ve come to realize that I play an important role for viewers of the battle scene. Tell me if this analysis is way off-base:

I am the most relatable character in battling. In a sea of larger than life personalities and wrestling-esque vendettas, I’m perhaps the one touchpoint of regular everyday-ness. Nerdy, but not so awkward as to make my performances unwatchable. Smart in a way that doesn’t go over heads. Earnest about presenting myself as myself, rather than a rap persona.

Fresco used to fill the same role, before he moved on to be the scrawny yet arrogant guy who writes fantastical gun bars. Which is amazing. But appeals to a slightly different audience. Soul Khan also had too much dramatic flair and showmanship to fit the bill. And rappers like Charron and Chedda Cheese are so unapologetic in their geekiness that it alienates the more hardcore fanbase. At the very least, I don’t try to be a geek.

I am far from the dopest rapper in any regard. But the average fan can see themselves in me (pause, unless the average fan is a woman… wait, no, still pause) and my verses have enough substance that they don’t need to feel bad about that.

Since I’m having a moment of honest self-assessment, I’ll drop my thoughts on how I did in the aforementioned 360 battle. Watching the video, I was disappointed in my performance. I was not as confident or comfortable as I would have liked, especially in the first round. There are a few lines I wish I wouldn’t have used.

That being said, the last half of the third verse is one of my most proud accomplishments in battling so far. I managed to drop “bars” without sounding completely corny or forced, something I’ve tried before with varying degrees of success (or varying degrees of failure, more accurately). And I incorporated last-minute material pretty smoothly. If I could make both those elements cornerstones of my approach in solo battles, while retaining some jokey moments and mixing in better lead-up schemes to make my big lines more impactful, then I could truly compete at the level where I’m often placed.

I don’t think I’m one of the best. Not even very close, in my opinion. But people who say so make me want to get better and earn that accolade. So thanks guys.

For those of you who don’t live in Toronto, be advised that we have just elected a fat, racist, angry, batshit insane, wife-beating goon as our mayor. Good times! I mean, seriously? This guy? THIS guy?!?!?

I’m not going to rant at you, because I know many of my readers aren’t Torontonians and I feel silly getting political on a rap battle blog. But if you are from TO and you know someone who voted for Rob Ford (yourself included) slap them in the face today. Hard.

Some things happened while I was away, such as my battle with Eurgh going online and my T-shirt store launching. If you haven’t watched the battle yet I think it’s worth your time. However, this post is going to be specifically about the T-shirts. I’m doing things a little differently than other shirt-selling battle rappers have and I thought it would be good to explain.

There are 2 designs on sale right now. One says “Kid Twist” and humourously resembles the sign of a barber shop. The other one says “Nigel Please”. Check it out:

The shop is being run through a web site called Spreadshirt. They offer print-on-demand services. This means that I don’t have boxes of shirts sitting around my house. As soon as you order one shirt (or 25!) that one shirt is printed and sent to you. No overhead, and no limits on stock.

There are a few benefits to doing things this way. First of all they accept not only PayPal but also any credit card that may be in your wallet. Since each shirt is custom printed, you can get yours in any of the available 10 colours:

Also, you can order any size you want, with no concerns about availability. And I can offer women’s shirts just for the ladies (or men with breasts).

Here’s another cool thing about this project. I’m splitting all of the profits 50/50 with the artists who designed the shirts. The designer of the “Kid Twist” shirt is Leo Rodriguez of DBB Clothing, who you saw me thank in the Eurgh battle. Annie Naseem is responsible for the “Nigel Please” design. Both have a lot of great work on their respective sites, so I encourage you to check those links. I peer-pressure you, even.

So to recap: you go to my shop. You buy a shirt, any size and colour you want. I get a bit of money. An awesome local artist gets a bit of money. You wear your shirt and become the coolest kid in your city/town/religious commune.

No downside that I can see. Why not visit the online store right now? You will help enable me to viciously insult other human beings for years to come.

But what stood out to me most about the event was the atmosphere. First, URL needs to take that “Most Respected Battle League in the World” shit off their videos. The amount of respect and genuine appreciation people have for KOTD  floored me. Organik, Ryan, Avi, and everyone else have put 2 years of their lives into this. To see that actually be recognized, by a scene that traditionally has such fickle jaded fans, is incredible. They must be doing something – many things – right.

It wasn’t just the respect for the organization that overwhelmed me, either. I’ve always looked at battling as a hobby. Something I do for kicks once in a while, when I want to make distasteful jokes that rhyme. It’s a fun competition. There’s never been a reason for me to consider it more than that.

The amount of support I got this weekend, though, makes me wonder. People taking pictures with me, asking for autographs, or just expressing real enthusiasm for what I do. It was clear that battling is more to them than just kind-of-on-beat gay bashing.

Battle Rapping – What Does This Mean?

You read that in the double-complete rainbow guy voice, right? Good job.

The people I spoke to this weekend came from very different walks of life. But there is something about rap battles that speaks to all of them. Maybe the fact that it’s a modern version of the Colosseum, except with fewer disembowelings. A competition with minimal rules that satisifes our desire for brutality.

There’s one story that best sums up how battling is deeper than I gave it credit for. I was talking to Matt Daley from the Alberta Division (he battled Lokust at this event, they both killed it). He told me about his young cousin who’s becoming fascinated with battles. Matt tried to point out the positives to him.

Matt: It’s not just street guys, like you think. We have all kinds of rappers, even more educated literary ones.

Cousin: Really? Well, who’s the most literary rapper in King of the Dot?

Matt: Kid Twist.

Cousin: And who’s the best rapper?

Matt: … Probably Kid Twist.

I don’t say this to big myself up. I say it because I never really thought about rap battles as having an inspirational quality to them. Especially not my own. And an 11-year-old proved me wrong.

To everyone who came up and shared some kind words with me, thank you. You were an inspiration to me and I mean that honestly. I’m more excited about battling than I’ve ever been before.

Wise Words From The Gambling Man

Before this post becomes unredeemably sappy, let me share my favourite quote from the weekend. It did not take place in a battle. It took place afterwards, at the hotel.

As I was walking through the hall, Bishop Brigante came out of the room where everyone was hanging out. There was a look of absolute disgust on his face.

“All anyone in there wants to do is talk about battles,” he said. “It’s like they forgot they got dicks.”

He shook his head, adjusted his hat, and walked off. Presumably to do something that would remind him he has a dick.

The last thing I want to say about World Domination is that it made me change my mind. (**Minor Spoiler Warning**) During my battle, I said a line that insinuated I want the title chain back. But you know what? Fuck the chain. I lead the life of a champion regardless of jewellery.

On an unrelated topic, I swore off hair gel last week. I gelled it for the event just so I wouldn’t be accused of pulling a Dirtbag Dan and ruining Eurgh’s hair lines (he had a great one). But from now on it will be hanging in my eyes.

Also I wear glasses in 90% of my daily life. So if you see a dude walking around Toronto who looks like me, but with Fresco hair and Soul Khan glasses, it is in fact me. Come say hi.

I was inspired to write this by an interview with Organik that the Hip Hop Nerd posted today. Despite being an hour long, it is worth listening to the whole thing. He gives out some little known facts about King of the Dot and says a lot about how hard the staff and rappers work to put on these events. In particular, his comments about why KOTD hasn’t been on TV yet show why I believe in this organization so much.

The night before the biggest battle event in Canada’s history, I wanted to add my piece. Over the first year of KOTD’s existence there were a lot of points when I considered quitting. Or slowing down at least. Preparing for as many battles as I did between late 2008 and late 2009 can take its toll.

But what always kept me going in those moments was the thought that I was helping to build something. Every time I battled, it brought exposure to the league and improved the international view of Canadian rappers. Maybe just a little. The important thing to me was that I was doing this for more than myself.

And this is what we were working for. World Domination. To have Toronto, and Canada as a whole, at the forefront of the global battle scene. I’d like to give a huge shout out to Organik, Ryan, Rex, P, Manik, Hollohan, Ovabyte, and everyone else who’s been a part of the movement. (Organik probably has a better list in his interview.)

If you live in or near Toronto, be at the event this weekend. Club XS. Friday at 7. Saturday at 1. I battle Saturday. Believe me, you won’t want to miss it.

All of the insults, controversy, sweat, chokes, verses, drinks, and blogs came down to this. And what a climax it was. I’ve been thinking a lot about how both Pesci and Arcane made it to the finals, and what a dramatic story played out over the course of the tournament. Here’s how I saw that story.

Round 1. Loe Pesci gets matched up with Syco, bullies him in a video blog, and then pulls out a fucking umbrella (inspiring my very first post). The judges give him the win. Half the venue goes nuts, saying Syco got jerked, and Pesci is right away the most hated rapper in the Grand Prix.

But where the live crowd turned on Pesci, the YouTube crowd turns on Arcane, as soon as his battle with Kaliente is released. Arcane fumbles a verse. Not enough to stop him cold but enough for commenters to claim Kaliente should have got the automatic win. Both Cane and Loe go into round 2 with many fans ready to boo them out of the nightclub.

Pesci comes up against Mischief next. Again he does a blog, but this time he works the comedy angle rather than dissecting his opponent’s life. Over the course of three flawless verses he goes from the dirtbag who should’ve lost his first battle to the hands-on favourite to win the GP.

That same night, Arcane is the underdog in a highly anticipated rematch with Knamelis. It’s by far the closest battle of the round, but Cane takes it almost solely because of Knamelis’s stumble in the second verse. Some fans say that Knamelis should have won anyway. They are probably the same people who argued the opposite point against Arcane in his first battle.

We’re down to the wire now. Pesci goes into the semifinals against PORICH. A slugfest between two of the league’s top brawlers. Loe’s victory is decisive, but the pre-battle interviews may be telling. Rich clowns on “Steve Yuheemi’s” personal life while the pressure of being the favourite is visible on Pesci’s shoulders.

And then comes Arcane vs Charron. The man who is by far the oldest in the league against the wonder kid. The crowd’s most hated and the crowd favourite. Charron comes out swinging (literally), but after a misguided third verse the judges give the decision to Arcane. Fans are up in arms (that’s two!). There is talk of Arcane intimidating judges into voting for him off-camera. The judges’ call is booed when announced. The Internet comments are polarized and scathing.

So this is how they reach the finals. Pesci, the former cartoon supervillain, is welcomed as a champion. Arcane is said to have slipped his way into this position through an outbreak of judge psychosis. Everyone expects Loe to win, and take our chain back from TheSaurus. It’s a given.

After one round, Arcane has a solid showing, but the edge is clearly on Pesci’s side. Then it happens – Pesci chokes. In two straight verses. And Arcane only gets sharper, finally ending his third round with a turn on the phrase that Pesci used to bully Syco all those months ago. Step Your Life Game Up. The crowd cheers Cane like he’s Charron’s favourite uncle.

What a fucking show. If I had written it for television, I couldn’t have a delivered a better script. The expectations of everyone in the crowd (including me) were thwarted at every turn. Yet somehow it seems like it all wrapped up exactly as it should have. Both the marks of a great story.

Congrats to Arcane, and a shoutout to every rapper, organizer, cameraman, and sponsor who made the Grand Prix possible. I don’t think I’m being biased to say that this was the most entertaining thing to happen in battling this year.

I’ll leave you with this YouTube comment on the finals, which has 38 thumbs up: “Does anyone else find it ironic that the biggest choke came upon mention of Charron?” Watching it again, I realized that both chokes came around material related to Charron, one during a line about him and one just before. And Arcane’s biggest line mentions Charron in the setup. So I have to ask …

Is Charron’s ghost the real winner of the Grand Prix?

I first had the idea for the novel about three years ago, and I’ve been seriously working on it for the past two and a half. The first draft was completed shortly after my battle with Dumbfoundead. During my “hiatus” from battling, I’ve been proofreading, rethinking, discussing, and working on a second draft as much as I can. The original draft was 60,000 words, which is quite short for a novel. The second will probably end up being closer to 65,000.

To put that timeline into perspective, here are some other things that I did while completing the first draft: started dating my girlfriend, graduated from university, battled in the first ever KOTD event, got a job, did six other KOTD battles, went to Scribble Jam, got engaged to my girlfriend, and went to BOTB5. It’s been a long process, to say the least.

And it’s only going to get longer. Not only do I still have to finish the second draft (and then likely review, revise, and rewrite once again) finding a publisher for it will be a challenging task. One with which I have no experience at all. Fans of my battles hit me up often, asking when my book is going to be out. At this point, it could be in a year, or three years, or never. It’s a tough question to answer.

So I’ve decided to take on a new writing project in the meantime. Recently I’ve become interested in ebooks, and the possibility of self-publishing my own work in a digital format. There’s enough buzz about Amazon’s Kindle right now to convince me that it will soon become like iTunes for musicians. Letting independent artists get their shit directly to the fans and keep most of the profit.

Here’s the plan: write 5 or 6 short stories (the hard part). Put them out myself on all the ebook platforms I can. Then you guys can download them on the Kindle or Nook or Kobo or other terribly named e-reader, or onto an iPhone, or just onto your computer. And read them. For the cost of $0.99. Sound fair?

Again, I have no idea how long it will take me to do this. But certainly a lot shorter time than finishing a novel and finding a publisher. I’ll also be more inclined to share details about this project as I go, posting summaries or excerpts from the stories themselves. At least one will be given away for free on this site as a teaser when the project drops.

What do you guys think of the idea? I’m genuinely curious to know how many people would be interested in spending a buck on something like this.

And in case you haven’t heard: Kid Twist vs Eurgh. August 7th. In Toronto.

Blaow.

My topic for today is vanity license plates. I have a strange obssession with them. I make a concerted effort to remember the best ones that I see as I drive around Toronto. At this point, I’ve collected quite a few. They tend to fall into one of three categories.

Almost cool, but kind of lame

This is when the car owner is trying just a bit too hard. A red Toyota Matrix with the plate “RED PILL”, for instance. Or the guy I work with who paid for “OUTOFTME”.

Just yesterday I saw a mini painted with the British flag whose plate said “SWINGRRR”. Oddly enough, that’s the second time I’ve seen that particular car. I think Austin Powers is stalking me.

The one theme car I’ve seen that I will give a legitimate “cool” pass to was a white Volkswagen with the Ghostbusters logo painted on the side. Its license plate was, of course, “ECTO 1″.

Irreverent

These plates are funny in an odd and unsettling way. My favourite is “UNICYCLE”, which I saw on a mini-van. Was the driver a professional clown? Or were they making a wry comment on how it feels to be at the wheel of a van? I have never ridden a unicycle, but I have driven a mini-van, and I can imagine the former makes one feel just as goofy as the latter.

There are two irreverent plates in my office parking lot. The first is “CMON REF”. The second is “G LICIOUS”, on the car of an unassuming white man. Clearly I work with a bunch of weirdos (says the Canadian battle rapper).

Then there’s the person who cut me off the other night with the plate “TSK TSK”. I’m not sure if that was ironic, or just a dick move.

Dark humour

Plates of this kind are rare. They are also the most awesome. A few months ago I saw a plate with a Maple Leafs logo on it – a common sight in my city. It simply read: “NXT YR”. If you know anything about hockey, you’ll appreciate the humour. And if you know anything about Toronto, you’ll appreciate the owner’s cajones.

And finally, my favourite license plate, the one that started my habit of paying attention to them in the first place.

A black hearse with the plate “R U NEXT?” I swear that I’m not making this up. From what I can tell, it was still a functional hearse used for funerals. (The driver was wearing a black suit, anyhow.)

There you have it. The funniest, strangest, and worst plates I’ve seen over the past few years. Any of you guys have some good ones to share?

You guys are all cooler than me so I’m sure you’ve heard these, but here are some of my favourites off their most recent album.

As I was listening to one of these songs on my way to work, I thought of something. This band may be the only one that truly epitomizes the first decade of the 2000s.

Here’s my reasoning. Their music is diverse enough to span almost every genre that has been popular over the past 10 years. Indie rock, electronica, underground hip-hop. And their lyrical content generally reflects the bleakness and uncertainty of the times.

I’m not saying that they’re the “best” band to release material since the year 2000. But they are the band that best reflects what it was like to live through that decade, musically and otherwise.

That got me wondering if there was a band that summed up the 90s in the same way. The answer I came up with was, yes. Sublime.

Remember these?

I can’t think of another artist that better encompassed the sounds of the 90s. The influence of grunge, punk, ska, reggae, and West Coast rap can all be heard in Sublime songs. Plus their lyrics touch on the whole “youthful angst” thing without being whiny. Quite an accomplishment.

Those are my random musings for today. I would move on to the 80s but, you know, I was barely alive then. So I’m not the best judge of what music captured the spirit of that decade. For me, it would probably be Raffi.

What do you guys think? Agree, disagree? I’m very interested to hear some opinions.

Many high fives are due to Gary Hampton at MTV Canada, who pitched this idea to his superiors, somehow got them to go for it, and then put together a very solid segment. It gives a better overview of the Canadian battle scene than any of us intellectual sportsmen could have hoped for.

Of course, it would have been even better if they put in my verse about Dan Levy being a bland preppy damn Trekkie. But Ryan PVP’s description of me more than made up for it. Thanks man.

Also, an audio interview that I did last week for The Mark also went up today. It is part of a weekly podcast that they put out. This week’s subject is “authenticity”, and I share the airtime with a Macleans columnist and the advertising exec responsible for the “I Am Canadian” commercials. Which is more than a bit humbling.

You can check out the full podcast here. My interview was edited down to fit the theme and time limit of the half hour segment. I’m happy with what they kept. I (hopefully) sounded academic enough to keep pace with the preceding interviews, but no so much that I came off like a douche bag.

If you’d prefer to check out only my interview in its entirety, you can do that instead. Most of what was cut for the podcast isn’t worth listening to, but there is one anecdote about Dumbfoundead near the end that everyone who has ever commented on YouTube should hear. Thanks to Chris Mitchell for being a good interviewer and all around solid guy.

So there you go. I find it kind of funny that I’m getting media attention now that I’ve taken a hiatus. But I guess the work I’ve put into battling for the past four and a half years is starting to pay off, at least in terms of recognition. It’s a good feeling.

Congrats to everyone involved in KOTD for the MTV piece. Let’s keep this momentum going. With a lot of work and a little luck, we can be the number one outlet for penis and dead mother jokes on the planet.